A few months ago, another coach mentioned a Grounding & Growing Retreat she was hosting in Montana. I thought, how cool, but probably not for me. I’m not a nature girl. I’m already a coach. Maybe it will be more “churchy” than I want. There continued to be small signs that gave me nudges to keep looking at it and learn more. I decided to take a chance and sign up before I lost my nerve. I emailed to facilitator, paid my invoice, booked my ticket, and continued to dwell on it.
I wouldn’t know anyone. I was going to the mountains. I was spending a fair amount of money to go. The retreat was the weekend before we closed on our house. What was I thinking?! Too late, the deed was done. I had made a commitment and just had to wait for October to come.
Three things happened before October.
1. I had a coaching session with one coach/facilitator regarding my strengths and making sure I didn’t feel the urge to play the role of coach but be a present participant.
2. I had a coaching session with the second coach/facilitator about where I was in life’s journey – mentally, emotionally, spiritually.
3. I was introduced via Zoom to most of the participants.
Who knew three simple steps of connection were all I would need to feel seen, heard, and valued before I even arrived to the Grounding & Growing experience. I felt instant connection with the coaches/facilitators and participants which totally shifted my feelings of anxiousness and doubt to excitement and motivation.
The participants, facilitators, and the beauty of the Montana mountains were the perfect combination for Grounding & Growing. It was as if we had known each other and been together for weeks instead of hours as we settled into our large house in the mountains, spent time hiking (with bear spray), shopping, hot tubbing, talking, laughing, eating, and staying up too late challenging and listening to each other’s stories.
To say this met the expectations I didn’t even know I had was an understatement. As a coach, it’s easy to forget that I need to take the advice I give to clients too. I need to continue to grow and develop myself, check in with myself on where I am and where I’m going. Often coaches need a coach too. There are some fantastic coaches out there, and I had the opportunity to work with two of them and an amazing group of women that are similar to me in they are always striving for more and make things happen. There was an overwhelming amount of takeaways, ah-has, and even my nemesis, tears. I joked that the facilitators’ goal was to “break” me, but their goal was to help us heal and acknowledge things from the inside out.
A few key takeaways:
• We need to re-memory our memories so we can be proactive, honor what happened, and give ourselves permission to be untethered to the experiences holding us back. Honor your stories.
• Anger is secondary to fear. What are you afraid of?
• What is going to be the title of your story? We need to process the chapters, so it doesn’t end up as the title.
• When looking to understand yourself there is something between selfishness and selflessness, it’s called selfhood.
• SHAME – Self-Hatred At My Expense – says I did something wrong.
• Where do I need to courageously show up for myself?
• I BEFORE WE – there is no team if I don’t show up to play my role; there is no we if I don’t do my part; no one else can take my place – I am beyond compare.
• When we are brave enough to be vulnerable a new confidence comes.
• Forgiveness is different than letting people off the hook.
• I suck at asking for help and need to work on that.
These are just a few of the takeaways, and now it’s about putting these things into action. I know I can do this because I found those trusted others that let me be seen, heard, and valued in a different way than I had before. It was easy to re-energize and re-ignite the passion within me and be the person that sees, hears, and values others.
How do you ground yourself?
How do you show others you see, hear, and value them?
What needs to happen for you to grow?